one last thought to fruition

Another of the albums I bought last week at Graywhale. Perhaps I will finally process them all by the time I'm 60.

Against Me!, Searching For A Former Clarity

I've been vaguely curious about this band for a while, but I admit, when I bought the album it was because it was cheap and used and I just sort of felt like it. I was not at all expecting to fall in love the way I have, to obsess over individual songs and listen to it straight through then on shuffle then straight through again (and again and again). It's given me that wow, this is for me epiphany; it's a funny thing, when music convinces part of you that--no matter how impossible it may be--it was written solely about your experiences and the way you see the world. I'm always wondering what it is about music that does this, how some songs achieve universality by convincing each individual that it's all about them.

I suppose my surprise at loving this album so much comes from the preconceptions I definitely had about what I imagined the band to sound like. I am (sometimes unfairly) skeptical about punk as a subculture and fashion statement, so when I see Against Me! patches smugly worn on people who've also covered their whole body in The Misfits' logo, it turns me off and I think it's probably not music I'll enjoy. I'd heard the brilliant 'Baby, I'm An Anarchist' before, which told me that the band might have some of the same issues with anarchists that I do, but still--I just knew too many punks that didn't realize the song was a parody.

But this album is quite far away from the classic hardcore punk that almost never grabs my imagination. The music slick and intricate, with each song contributing towards a cohesive whole but still standing out on its own. It's got driving bass lines and choruses that are sometimes catchy, sometimes harsh and growling, sometimes funky; you can hear all the influences, from bluegrass (the acoustic guitar that frames 'How Low' could introduce a classic moody country song) to punk to classic rock. There's so much variety here, from the soft and simple 'Joy' to the sarcasti-caustic snarl of 'Miami'. It rocks out and then screams and then makes you dance and smile, offering something to appeal to just about every aspect of my music taste.

The lyrical content is largely political, but there's also personal insecurity; the album title Searching For A Former Clarity is spot-on. In most of the songs there's a definite sense of yearning and searching and just not being sure about the way things are now, and you can tell it's made by a band that's on the verge of making it big and has to grapple with the questions that entails. The lyrics Come on now, how long do think this is really gonna last?/How long can you hold their attention before they move on to the next band? are from a song they titled 'Unprotected Sex With Multiple Partners,' which could easily be interpreted as being about themselves. 'Don't Lose Touch' is sneeringly critical of liberals who are no longer authentic while also criticizing themselves. But the last song on the album, 'Searching For A Former Clarity,' is where the band really digs into their deepest subject material. The song meanders through lyrics that are nostalgic, wistful, sad and final, with no clear choruses or verses, just a slow build. Tom Gabel's voice sounds different here, too, more clear and less growling, finally vulnerable at the end of the whole CD.

Aside from 'Searching For...,' my high points include every note of the epic 'Justin' (seriously, I can't take this fucking song off repeat), the Bowie-like belted choruses to 'Don't Lose Touch,' and the heartsick first few lines of 'Even At Our Worst We're Still Better Than Most.'

Justin -Against Me!
Joy -Against Me!
Miami -Against Me!